Home
by StoneburntHeart
Summary: Shepard never really had a home. Her entire life, she spent moving and fighting. But after the reapers are gone, she can finally stop moving and enjoy a life that had written impossible all over it with the man she loves. A bit of Shenko fluff at the end. And I suck at summaries.


So ... since this is the first story I've ever written for Mass Effect, a One-Shot seemed like the safest way to go. This little piece is set three years after the final battle, so some spoilers are a given. But I think I kept them to a minimum. The Shepard in this story destroyed the Reapers. I decided against giving her a first name - I didn't want to spoil you imagining your own Shepard while reading this. That's why I didn't give any physical features, as well - except for her eye color. Oh, and though it might not seem that way at first, this is a Shenko story. Because ... well, you can never have enough Shenko. That's a fact.

English is not my first language, so I hope you can forgive any mistakes I might have made.

Everything Mass Effect related belongs to BioWare, even though I really wouldn't mind Kaidan ... but that's another story.

But enough of my rambling. I hope you enjoy this little story, let me know what you think! That review-button craves attention, after all ;)

* * *

Home.

She never really had one, growing up on spaceships, moving around as often as some people changed their underwear, as that old human saying went.

Sure, she grasped the concept of what a home really was, but her home had always been space. Not a distinct ship or space station she was particularly fond of or that held some precious memories. Growing up around marines, there was no time for many moments that could even qualify as precious. Hell, she had known how to swear like a sailor at an age most girls still held tea parties with their dolls or plush toys and had been able to hold her liquor several years earlier than her parents had appreciated. However, Shepard had never put too much thought into all of that – that's what you got for growing up around people who saw death on a frequent, if not daily, basis, right?

But still, none of that had ever really qualified to her as home. The vastness of space, the endless darkness, only broken by a million suns light years away – that had always been her home.

Until she was assigned to the Normandy under the command of Captain Anderson. Deep down, she had known that things were about to change the second she had set foot on board the prototype warship, build by Humans and Turians. The crew was different than any crew she had ever encountered growing up or had been part of since she enlisted what felt like a lifetime ago. This was more than just a crew, she quickly realized. This was a family. Not by blood, but held together by an invisible bond that seemed to make them invincible. Make her invincible. For the first time, Shepard felt like she had a home. A steady place that would always be there.

Oh, how wrong she had been. The attack of the collectors still sent a shiver down her spine. Most of the crew had survived, but a few people hadn't been so lucky.

Shepard closed her eyes as she remembered those she hadn't been able to save. They still haunted her, their faces appearing in her dreams. Ashley, who she had left behind on Virmire. Pressly, who fell during the collectors attack. So long ago, but still so fresh in her memory. Thane. Mordin. Names added to the list in the darkest days of the war against the Reapers. Nameless faces, like that of the boy she hadn't been able to save on Earth when the Reapers first attacked, joined those of friends and allies in her dreams. So many she couldn't save. Shepard would never forgive herself for it, questioning herself again and again if she really did all she could, if there wasn't something she had been missing, something that would have saved those lives.

Kaidan always told her that there was nothing she could have done, that she did all that had been in her power – but was he right? He usually was, hell, everything that came out of his mouth had been thought over at least three times, she was sure of that. But she wasn't so sure when it came to the dead. Was he just saying it to ease her mind? To make her feel less guilty?

Shepard shook her head slightly. No. Kaidan was the most honest person she had ever met. Painfully honest, on occasion. He wouldn't say things just to make her feel better.

She took a deep breath as the wind caressed her face. Tilting her head up, she looked at the stars. Three years since the Reapers were destroyed. Three years since she was supposed to die on the Citadel. Three years since she had done the impossible again and escaped certain death for what had felt like the millionth time. Badly wounded, yes, but she had survived. Joker had called her immortal, making the same crude jokes as always while sitting in a wheelchair – his fragile legs had fallen victim to his slightly over-enthusiastic victory dance after setting foot on Earth. Shepard would have payed an insane amount of credits so have seen that dance. Instead, she had been holed up in a hospital on the outskirts of what used to be London.

Warm arms wrapped around her, snapping her out of her thoughts and bringing her back to reality. She leaned back against the oh-so-familiar chest, a small smile playing on her lips as she felt a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"What are you doing out here? It's two in the morning", Kaidan asked. She went missing from their bed too many nights for his liking, the past haunting her, keeping her from getting the sleep she needed.

"I'm just thinking", Shepard replied.

"About?"

"Nothing … everything. I don't know." They had this talk countless times before. She didn't need to explain the things that had gone through her head. Kaidan knew her better than she knew herself, he had proven that time and time again since they had gotten back together. Instead of answering, he simply pulled her closer and she allowed herself to relax in his embrace. She didn't need to be strong. Didn't need to put on the face of Commander Shepard, Savior of the Galaxy. Not for him. He wasn't fooled by it, he'd been quite vocal about that a few weeks after they had moved into the house overlooking English Bay that once belonged to his parents. She remembered their fight like it had been yesterday.

She had held onto the image everyone around her had created and she felt the duty to meet their expectations – or to exceed them, like they probably expected her to. And it had drained her immensely. Kaidan told her time and again that she still needed to rest, but she had been to stubborn to see reason. Until the day her legs just gave way under her. She came to on the couch, Kaidan sitting on the coffee table, his eyes fixated on her face. When she told him how she was fine and that she just hadn't been eating and drinking much the last couple of days, he lost his calm – something she had never witnessed, or at least not like that. He had shouted, paced around the living room, never given her a chance to answer him until he was finished. And in the end, it had all come down to the fact that he would not simply stand there and watch while she destroyed herself just because she still felt the obligation to be there for everyone but herself.

"Hey … are you still with me?" Kaidan asked. Shepard could feel his breath on her neck, making her shiver in the best way imaginable.

"Yeah. Sorry for the silent treatment", she answered.

She turned her head to look at him, her blue eyes meeting his warm, whiskey-colored ones. Oh, the things he made her feel just by looking at her like he did now – loving, like she was the most precious thing in the world, but with an underlying desire that gave her goosebumps. It should be a crime to convey so many things with just a gaze, she decided. Shepard stretched slightly to plant a kiss on his jaw, shadowed by the dark stubble that began to appear, but Kaidan had other ideas as he pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that made her knees go weak. She turned around in his embrace, one hand resting on his shoulder while the other was buried in his hair, pulling him closer.

The sound of an explosion made her jump slightly, ending the kiss. Her eyes were wide as she looked around, trying to locate the source. She took a deep breath when she saw the fireworks in the distance.

"You'd really think they'd find a better way to celebrate the end of a war for the galaxy than blowing up even more stuff", she mumbled, her face buried in Kaidan's neck.

He chuckled, his fingers drawing soothing circles on her back. "Apparently, blowing things up for fun doesn't count as explosions."

Shepard shifted slightly in his arms when she heard a soft, whimpering noise from inside the bedroom. Her eyes feel on the crib that stood a few feet away from the bed she had vacated earlier to escape the haunting images. She couldn't help but smile. Her miracle. While other people considered the fact that the Reapers were destroyed a miracle, Shepard thought differently. The fact that after dying, being rebuilt and almost dying again, she was still able to create a new life – that was her very own miracle.

"Damn whoever initiated these fireworks for waking up my son", she growled, moving out of Kaidan's embrace. She instantly felt cold. A few steps took her to he crib and when she looked at her son, big blue eyes shone with unshed tears. Shepard took him into her arms, cradling the small boy close to her chest as she placed a soft kiss on the impossible amount of dark hair he had inherited from his father. "Ssssh, it's okay, everything's okay, I'm right here", she whispered soothingly. She turned around and looked at Kaidan, who watched her with that small smile that she loved so much. Shepard returned the smile, rocking her son gently.

This, right here, was where she belonged. In this house, with the man she loved and a son she had never dared to even dream about having.

This was home.


End file.
